A hands on way to teach your kids about honesty. This Object Lesson for Kids on Honesty opens up great dialogue and will be a lesson your kids don’t forget!
The other day I was thinking about how I could help my kids understand honesty better. While they understand what it means to be honest, I think as kids their little minds think that lying can actually change the truth. I came up with this idea for a Family Home Evening lesson to help illustrate how a lie doesn’t cover up the truth.
KIDS LESSON ON HONESTY
What you’ll need:
- Vanilla Ice cCream
- Chocolate Syrup
- Salt
- 3 Bowls
- a big bowl of water
To prepare in the morning I put a little water in one of my bowls and then I added a bunch of salt. I let it dry and also used a blow dryer on it to help the salt harden in the bottom. I added another layer when the first dried and did the same thing to make sure it was thick and hard.
That evening I took my tray out that had the ice-cream, salt, chocolate syrup and bowls on it. The boys were so excited to see ice cream and chocolate syrup for our lesson! I dished a scoop of ice cream in a bowl and handed them each a spoon and asked them who liked ice cream. They were so excited! I said that sometimes we make bad choices. What about putting salt on ice cream, would that be a good choice? They said no and I took about a teaspoon of salt and sprinkled it all over the top of the ice cream.
I made a big deal out of it saying oops!
Then I said sometimes we are embarrassed about the choices we make, so we try to cover them up with a lie. At this point I took the Hershey syrup and covered all the salt with the ice cream. I then asked them questions like, can you see the salt anymore? How does it smell now? How do you think it would taste? I took their spoons and gave them each a spoonful of the ice cream and syrup. I made sure to take shallow scoops of ice-cream, so there would be lots of salt on their spoonfuls. I asked who wanted to try it and shockingly they all did. I really think they thought you wouldn’t be able to taste the salt. Be prepared to laugh at some funny faces!
I said that’s how lying is — we try to cover up what we did that was bad, but it doesn’t really go away. The only way to get rid of the salt is to start over and go back and make our mistake right.
I took the second bowl and added a little salt to it. I told them that when we tell a lie we can go back and make it right. I had them take a paper towel and had them easily wipe the wet salt out of the bowl. Then I took the bowl with salt dried in it and said sometimes we have told a lie a long time ago and everyone has forgotten, but we don’t. Sometimes the lies build up because we have to tell more lies to cover the first one we told. I talked about how the longer you let it go, the harder it gets to tell the truth. I let them try to swipe the dried salt away with a paper towel, but it wouldn’t come off.
I took the big bowl of water and talked about how we need the Savior to help us make it right through repentance. Then I took the bowl with the hard salt in it and put it in the big bowl of water and swished it a few times and the salt dissolved. We talked about taking the sacrament each Sunday and how that reminds us of our baptism and how each week we can be washed clean.
The boys were mesmerized during the whole lesson – no fighting or whining! Yay!
After we were done with the lesson, we dished up ice cream with syrup and had that for our treat. They have referred back to the lesson a few times, so I know it made a difference for them. I love when a lesson actually gets through to them and opens a great discussion!
Hope you and your loved ones have a great lesson too!
Speaking of this rough job, called parenting! Here are some tips and tricks that have helped my house run smoother!
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If you love this lesson, I’d love it if you pinned the image below, so others can find it to!
Sharilyn
This lesson was great! I taught preschool and kindergarten. They understood the concept and talked about it for several weeks later!
Thank your for sharing
Porchy
Do you think my CTR primary class of 5, 6, 7, year olds would be too young for this lesson? It is soo challenging to teach this age and keep their interest!
Pam Dana
That’s hard to say! Every kid is so different! I would honestly go with your gut on that! I am guessing for some of the little 5 year olds, it may be a little hard to understand! Good luck with the decision!
Kj
Definitely not too young! Perfect age!
Sam
What a powerful way to introduce forgiveness at a child’s level and makes it something for them to fall back on when making future choices! You are truly blessed with His creativity ?
Anne
We did this tonight with our girls (ages 6 and 2.5), as part of a 3-part series of FHE lessons to teach different principles about honesty. In retrospect, I wish I had separated this into two distinct mini-lessons on different evenings. The first bit with the salt and the chocolate syrup teaches [in my own words] that “using lies to cover your bad choices doesn’t make the bad choice go away; it only temporarily disguises it.” In this case, the salt was the “bad choice” and the chocolate syrup was the coverup “lie”. My girls had a hard time shifting analogies once we moved to the second part. There, the salt was representing the “lie” itself, instead of the original bad choice. And…. well, attention spans were waning for the young’ns. ; )
The point is that although the two parts are both useful, they teach different principles and conflicting symbols. The second part doesn’t actually need to have ice cream involved at all and could have been on a totally different night. As written, I could see the bowl/salt part being used to teach a couple different principles: (a) When we tell a lie, we can go back and make it right with the help of the Atonement. (b) Sometimes lies build up on each other because we are trying to cover the first lie. In both cases (a and b), we can use the Savior’s Atonement to make it right via repentance. Or perhaps (c) Renewing our baptismal covenants each week helps wash away our sins, even if they are cankered on. Eh… I still don’t have it quite solid, but there’s an excellent principle in this object lesson. It could be a good opportunity to just ask the open-ended question, “How does this bowl and salt relate to the Atonement?” and see what the kids come up with. I personally think it’s best suited to teach that lies can “build up” on top of each other, and how even built up lies can be washed clean by the Atonement.
If it helps other parents out there, the 1st week we read The Boy Who Cried Wolf from Aesop’s fables [When we lie to others, they may not believe us even later if we are telling the truth.] and drew pictures to represent the story. We actually all worked together and made the story into a comic strip, because that’s what my kids are interested in. The 2nd week we did the ice cream/salt/chocolate syrup object lesson [Using lies to cover your bad choices doesn’t make the bad choice go away.] The 3rd week we plan to do the string object lesson to show what happens when lies build up on each other (similar to this lesson: https://oneshetwoshe.com/family-night-honesty/) [The more you lie, the harder it is to get out of the lies. It’s easier to just tell the truth the first time.]. If I do this again, I might include a separate 4th week, using the crusted-on salt in the bowl described in this post [Even if we have lies or other sins built up on each other, we can repent and be washed clean by the Atonement of Jesus Christ.].
I hope that helps. Thanks so much for the thoughtful object lesson!
Naomie Alphonse
Thanks a lot for the idea. It’s helps me a lot. May God bless you and keep the good works
Heather
I just want to say thank you so much for this idea. I’m going to apply it in a biblical since for children’s church. Awesome job!
TC
Love this lesson! Great analogy!
I was chuckling to myself because our favorite ice cream is cashew milk salted caramel! And my child loves salt…Lol. But, I’ll add way more salt! Great visual! Thank you for sharing!
Christin
This is a great article. Thank you for sharing. It came right on time. My little got in trouble today for looking on someones paper. She admitted it (thats good). I think its a great time teach on honesty and lying. I can use this example and put my own spin on it. Thank you
Dimple
KUDOS Mom for creating a visual to help your children understand. We all know we are to walk by faith and not by sight, but sometimes we need to see what that means for us, especially if we are young in mind.
Pam Dana
Thanks so much!!
Mom&Teacher
I agree with most of the comments that point out the negativity to an excellent lesson on honesty. There are far to many parents who are afraid to discipline and teach nessesary life lessons but instead defend unacceptable behavior and reward rare good behavior. For God’s sake step up and be a parent and not a friend or you will regret it. For your child could be the next school shooter.
Mary
I plan on trying this with my church kids for Winter Fun Fest. I will let you know how it works for a big group of children.
Pam Dana
Thank you so much! I can’t wait to hear how it goes!
Savannah
Great Lesson! I did it at Awana with my Sparks kids and I it really help them understand. Thanks for this awesome material!
Ashmom6
I love this idea! Thank you for sharing. We are struggling with one of our kids telling little lies to cover things up because she does not ever want to disappoint or get into trouble. This will be a very good lesson for all of our children. Thanks again!
Mammy
Thank you for this lesson. I am a Sunday School teacher of preschoolers and first grade children.
This works perfectly with teaching them the Fruit of The Spirit. Honesty, Trustworthy, Faith, Goodness.
This is a wonderful lesson and then reward them with a dish of ice cream, to show contrast betwee
being honest and sin.
Lesley
What a fabulous way to teach any child! I love this concept because it is so easy to understand and to teach – brilliant! Thank you. Oh, and I have 5 children, (31-14 years) and I still think this is a great object lesson!
Susi Moore
This is an awesome idea on for lies and honesty. I love every aspect of it and will use it to teach the parable of the dishonest servant. My group of kids is only young and this is a brilliant idea. thank you very much
Mathieu Steele
Lesson went well. 7 year old said that she doesn’t like chocolate ice cream, but agreed to try the salty ice cream. Upon trying it she decided she does like chocolate ice cream but only with salt. Thanks for the great post.
pchef3
Wonderful idea! I am going to do this with my Sunday School class. Thank you for sharing!
Lizzie
Love this idea!!! I am going to have to use this with my sunday school class! 🙂
Lizzie
Love this idea!!! I am going to have to use this with my sunday school class! 🙂
There's Just One Mommy
What a lovely lesson! I am going to have to remember this one for the future!
JustAMom
Great idea! Even if you did not want to include the idea of repentance you could easily talk about how hard it is to get rid of the damage done by lying long-term. I love the bowl of water and reference to the Savior, so great!
Georgina
Thanks so much for this awesome object lesson! Each month our family has a theme and January is always Honesty. We listen to Alexanders Amazing Adventures by Richard and Linda Eyre and hold all our FHE lessons about the month topic. I really wanted a new object lesson for teaching honesty and I found this one- THANK YOU! I love it!
ann newell
I’m going to use this at my Chapel tomorrow in school. Can’t wait to see how the kids react to the salt. Love how it applies to real life and making good choices. Also how we need God’s help to truly repent.
Justathought
I found you on pinterest- I had to tell you that this is such a beautiful lesson! And, I plan to use this in my own home! We’re not religious, but I think the bowl of water idea is absolutely fantastic in either use! It illustrates that “coming clean”, at any point, is better than leaving the residue on the bowl (who wants to eat ice cream out of a dirty bowl :]). Thank you so much for the brilliant post!
Kelly
I did this with my daughters tonight, and wouldn’t you know it? My littlest one liked the ice cream WITH salt! But all in all, a great lesson! They were very mesmerized with the bowl of water part. We have been talking about baptism, so this is a nice double lesson 😉
Lisa
Lol! Well there is salted caramel everything right now 🙂
LaRisa
Thank you, thank you!!!:) I love this idea I’m going to use it tonight!!!:)
Get Over it
While I do enjoy this lesson, I believe it will work better WITHOUT any religious remarks. I teach my children that THEY can chose which faith to believe in, should they want one. I don’t force myself, OR my beliefs down their throats. Nor do I threaten them they’ll go to hell. I don’t believe in religion, get over it. But I do congratulate you all on finding “the right” religion that will take you to “heaven”.
Maddi
Get Over it – you are teaching your children exactly the right thing for you. Kudos to you for standing by your convictions and allowing your kids the opportunity to make their own choices. That’s wonderful! I hope you also teach them to be tolerant and accepting of others. Perhaps it’s more of a “do as I say, not as I do” lesson for you.
binnyt
I don’t think once did she threaten her children with hell. Why do people feel the need to go on a blog page belonging to someone else and trash them and demean when they are just sharing a gift to you. Quietly move on.When we want your opinion on how you would do it better we will come read your blog. Please don’t steal this lesson if you can’t be civil to the creator of it.
Chelsea
Lizzy V.- you were very eloquent and did a very good job trying to explain everything in a non- confrontational way. I just think that whenever God is brought up, everyone gets on edge and for that simple reason, people feel their toes are being stepped on. The fact of the matter is, we live in a secular society whose values, like honesty, are actually derived from Christianity, although we’ve tried so hard to separate ourselves from the roots this nation was founded on that most people do not even realize their value systems are Christian based. So, for someone trying to remove “redemption” from the lesson, everything else matches just about perfectly with the Bible. They are just missing the most important part: Jesus.
AnnaHart
So Jewish families, Muslim families, all families before Christianity….they were all cool with lying, huh?
Ruth
I’ve just come across this and it’s just what I need for my Sunday School class. It’s so simply explained, thank you.
Shannon
I just wanted to say thank you for sharing your idea! I am looking forward to doing this with our children tonight. I have struggled lately with helping them truly understand the concept of lying and honesty, I think they will really like this and understand it thank you again!
goshgolly4ever
I love the idea including the repentance part. It is brilliant. For those that need another ending you could use the idea that every time we need to cover up that lie we need to add more syrup. Pretty soon we can’t taste the ice cream anymore because of all the salt and syrup, and as with our lives: we can’t enjoy our lives because we are consumed with our lies and covering them up. It is better to learn to never tell a lie, if we do we must tell the truth to the one we wronged this can be illustrated by taking some of the salt out. There will always be traces because people don’t forget. How in depth the explanation is will depend on the age of the audience.
K. Lawrence
I like the lesson. Cool way to help your kids grasp it. By the way I was reading the comments…I thought repent just meant to change your mind or perspective on something…right?
Tiff
That was awesome. Excellent lesson!
Mags
Love this! Just going to take out the sacrament part cuz not LDS. Wishing this was a Christian site to Look up more lessons.
Hayley
LDS is short for The Church of JESUS CHRIST of Latter-Day Saints.
Jesus Christ
Christ
Christian
This is really not a difficult concept to grasp….
Hayley
Also, Christian churches have sacrament…
Christina
That’s how Jesus taught through story and parables… It has a way if getting through…I love this idea
Emily@NotSoIdleHands
What a great object lesson to do with the kiddos. I’m SO doing this with my girlies for FHE! Anything to do with ice cream will totally make them remember for years to come and I think they would think it’s fun to taste the ice cream with salt Hee hee.
Megan
Great idea, thank you for sharing. Going to try this with my pre-school class.
Jessica
I love this! Our core value is Honesty but is there a healthy alternative to do this besides ice cream?
Andrea
How incredibly manipulative.
Emily
Judgmental, much?
Contralto
I suspect poor reading comprehension skills.
rachaelb
Beautiful.
jessthemama
Really nice idea, very good for visual learners! Think I’ll try this with my kids (13, 11 and 5). As a side note, if repentance is not part of the lesson, then what is the point! I Will be the first to remind my kids that I am their mother and not their friend, it is not my job to let them walk through life oblivivious to the fact that they must take reponsibility for their actions and not have society teach them. It is our job as parents to love, teach, correct and yes discipline our children so that they become responsible adults who can function in this crazy society and the only way to do that is to keep the Lord above all! And not be afraid to offend anyone!
Dawn
This is such a beautiful kinesthetic way to teach children about lying. I followed all the steps, except I put the bowl with the salt in the microwave and the salt encrusted in 1 minute. 🙂
momma rose
Thanks for sharing!!! I strongly believe teaching your children these things is nothing but great parenting!!! I would do this even if my kid didn’t lie. Teach them before it becomes an issue. Your not going to let your kid touch the fire first then tell them it’s hot. If my kid got mad because of what I did, I’ll remind them I’m not trying to be their friend, I’m their parent and want them to succeed in life!! They’ll be greatful when they’re older
Jan
Thanks so much for sharing this Lisa!! It will be a perfect lesson for my GURLS youth group in the hot month of August…. culinary with a twist!! peace and blessings always
Jan
http://www.eastcharlottetweets.com
Theresa Levasseur
Object lessons have a much greater impact than even our most profound lectures! Nicely done!!!!!
mrsmicole
What a fabulous object lesson and such an important one!!!!!
Aaron-Ashley Osborn
I love this! Thank you for sharing!
Ashley from http://lovingmommahood.blogspot.com
Kirsten
Thank you for his idea! It’s not bad parenting its a great lesson that will stick in their minds! Maybe if more people stopped being afraid of parenting and ruining their kids society would be better for it. There’s no harm in this lesson and a bit of salt! It’s not like you’re sprinkling De-Con on the ice cream!
scrapweaver
I rarely comment on blog posts, but I just have to today – Lisa, this is brilliant! My children are high functioning ASD and one thing they have in common is a ‘hands on’ learning style, so this is just perfect! And such an important lesson. Thank you so much for sharing!!
Leia Marion
Awful way of parenting! FAIL! There are different ways to teach a lesson, making your kids uncomfortable. Ugh! Bad parent
Maddi
No one said the kids were uncomfortable. Unless you’re referring to the funny faces they made after eating salty ice cream. Try not to hurt yourself jumping to conclusions.
Sonya
What a great lesson! I’m going to incorporate this into a lesson for my 4th/5th Grade Sunday School class. Thank you for sharing this!
Cindy Rowe
Great message! I love this! Thank you for sharing!
Cindy @ Crazylou Creations
Maryam
Adults always tease children. At least THIS way she’s teaching them a valuable lesson. I had an experiment with salt as well, but mine turned out differently. My mother used to give me a teaspoon of sugar in my hand that I would lick off all day long. One day my Aunt was over and decided it would be funny if she gave me a tablespoon of salt. I didn’t think she’d trick me, all I thought was “WOW! A whole tablespoon of sugar!”. I was so excited I licked my WHOLE hand only to gag moments later on the amount of salt I swallowed. Moral of the story? Don’t trust your Aunt! Lol.
Lisa
I think I would like your family 🙂
Katie
I’m excited to do this with my kids tonight for FHE. Thanks for sharing!
Ila Adkins
Well, thank you for this 🙂 My children are very young right now, but I am pinning on Pinterest for future reference. Finally, an easy to comprehend way to teach children about lying! I agree with the person who stated that sometimes its better to teach in advance & then refer back when they are in trouble.
Paige
I really, really loved this idea. Except about the repentance part. Thank you for the idea. I will brainstorm ideas for finishing up the lesson in a secular way! 🙂
Candcmommee
The repentance part is a spectacular ending!
Kathy
You should read the Bible and think about repentance before it’s too late.
Alena
Wow really did you just threaten someone with a book?
The Chief's Wife
WOW Kathy, that was really uncalled for and not your place to judge. Matt. 7:1
This is a friendly site to share ideas, not bash other’s belief systems.
That was a great lesson Kathy and people can adapt it to fit their religion.
🙂
Kit Love
you should not apply your beliefs to anyone but yourself.
Andi
I agree. Everyone isn’t Christian, nor religious. It can be easily adapted to fit everyone’s beliefs.
MommyB
I was thinking the same thing, Paige. This is a beautiful lesson and works perfectly for a religious family. However, we don’t all live the same lives. I’ll have to tweak it a little bit for my family. I want my kids to be truthful for the simple fact that it is right, not because of the threat of hellfire.
Christine Mattson Carlson
I don’t see where she threatened her kids with hellfire or any such thing about telling them they are going to hell. That’s your impression.
MommyB
Christine, repentance, hellfire, etc. are all part of the same book. Neither Paige nor myself said anything negative about religion or others’ religious practices. We merely stated that as non-religious individuals, this lesson is appreciated and with a little adjustment can be used for our families as well. That’s a good thing, whether you see it or not.
Cpt. Obvious
“All part of the same book” is a very ignorant statement, clearly made by someone who hasn’t sincerely read this referenced book.
“I want my kids to be truthful for the simple fact that it is right, not because of the threat of hellfire” is OBVIOUSLY implying that ‘threat of hellfire’ is the motivating force behind mothers who include repentance when teaching the principle of honesty.
As you ‘seem’ to agree, threats are a bad / less effective motivator and mothers who honestly understand repentance also understand this… that when trying to convince others we use persuasion, long-suffering, gentleness and meekness, and by love unfeigned.
Therefore, “Neither Paige nor myself said anything negative about religion or others’ religious practices” is only a true statement if you’re excluding implications. Specifically your implication of the sub-par motivators behind the aforementioned mothers.
Funny that such a remark would be made on an ‘honesty’ thread. 🙂
There’s obviously a lack of understanding here… It may be in honesty, repentance, or the “hellfire book” 😉 but whatever the case, we should all get together to eat some salty ice-cream and figure it out ;D
MommyB
Given that I have read the book and it is entirely accurate to say that repentance and hellfire are a part of said book, I have to say that “ignorant” is a seriously lacking way to describe my statement. I have implied nothing and cannot be held responsible for any inferences made on your end.
Cpt. Obvious
“I want my kids to be truthful for the simple fact that it is right, not because of the threat of hellfire.” is the reasoning behind your “tweaking” the lesson to exclude repentance, no? Therefore leaving repentance in there (or not tweaking the lesson) would result in teaching ones children to be truthful because of the threat of hellfire, no?
Do you believe that because hellfire and repentance are both talked about in the same book, one cannot teach repentance without using the threat of hellfire as the motivator? If you do, then it’s easy to see why you feel your response is relevant. If you do not, that you understand your response is based on an assumption, therefore including more implications.
Also is it more accurate to say you’ve “read the book” or “read from the book”?
“I have implied nothing” is not a true statement. You can say you didn’t WANT to imply anything, but you can not honestly say that you implied nothing.
Sincere honesty requires sincere self-evaluation, of ones actions words and even motives. Has that occurred, or are you still just saying whatever comes to mind?
MommyB
“Do you believe that because hellfire and repentance are both talked about in the same book, one cannot teach repentance without using the threat of hellfire as the motivator?” I am not saying that it isn’t done, but then that would be cherry-picking the Bible which I’m quite sure is frowned upon in most cases.
Sara K Kendrick
I’m afraid many Christians are ignorant of the real teachings of the book they often try to shove down the throats of others. They assume someone with a degree from a bible college must be able to understand the Bible better than they can and so they take the pastors word for it and never study for themselves. The lie
about eternal burning hell fire is quite possibly the most damaging to God’s character and
has turned many away from following Christ because it just doesn’t make
sense to follow or love someone because if you don’t “they’re gonna get
you” and cook you for-eh-vur. That’s not love.
Even CHRISTIANS need to study and understand this truth – many, many Christians perpetuate the lie from their pulpits.
The Bible is clear – and I dare say MOST Christians are getting it wrong.
ApAngel
It is fine if you want to take the Christian connotations out of the lesson for your family. There is nothing wrong with that, God gave free will for a reason. As a Christian it is a win to me that you read through all of this and found it useful . Because no matter how you spin it you are still teaching you children a fundamental lesson from the bible. Even if they never knew it came from the Bible.
Kit Love
“Because no matter how you spin it you are still teaching you children a fundamental lesson from the bible. Even if they never knew it came from the Bible.”
This is SO condescending. She specifically stated she does not want to teach her child Christianity. This is like someone telling you they are not Christian and do not want anything to do with Christianity and you responding with “I’m sorry, I’ll pray for you”
or, if I were to reply about how “Don’t lie” was a virtue LONG before the bible and Christianity existed even though you already have shown you believe in Christianity and Christian believe there was nothing before their religion.
ApAngel
. post seems condescending to you because of a bitterness you hold towards Christians.
If you don’t believe in Christ and that is your decision but instead of thinking as people as Christians are not Christians just think of them as people.
is telling a lie bad yes. is telling the truth good yes so even though you don’t believe in Christianity you should be willing to accept that telling the truth and teaching your children to tell the truth is a good thing And should be praised.
That is my thought process.
if I tell you that I am sorry and I am praying for you and you are not Christian the correct way to respond to that would be to say, ” I’m not Christian but I appreciate It.”
if Christianity teaches good morals and people that follow Christianity and abide by its teachings are good people then to you it shouldn’t matter if that person is a christian because that person is a good person and to you that’s all that should matter. Otherwise you’re defeating your own purpose.
if everyone could learn not to label people as soon as they discover something about them it would be easier for us all to get along for Christians it would create opportunity for us to show our faith as it would for other faiths to show theirs.
I was taught not to force my faith on anyone but to show my faith and try to influence another’s life. Even if you choose not to accept God, anything you picked up from me will still be something good and worthwhile. That is what Christians refer to as planting a seed.
Am I going to tell this woman she’s a bad mother for not being christian no, because she is a good person. Am I going to tell you that you’re bad person for necroing a 5 month old post no. Because you very well could be a good person who is just viewing life in the wrong way.
Have a good day Kit. May God bless you.
ceroemisiones
To begin with, I really don’t understand why people talk about repentance and guilt like such bad things, when someone does bad and doesn’t feel bad about it, that person is in some level a psychopath. That is because empathy and consequently repentance are natural responses that we have to allow us to live in social groups.
However, I think you’ve been getting it all wrong, Christians do not stay away from sin because of fear (and that is a missconception than many NON christian people try to make others believe). It is because of love, you don’t lie because you love every person (yes, this is possible) and by lying you’re hurting that person and you don’t hurt someone you love. And that, my friend, is a much deeper motivation than doing it just because someone (YOU) say lying is wrong! I mean, sometimes lying is right, sometimes is wrong, but loving is always right. And this is exactly why Jesus said that to love God, your friends, family, enemies, strangers, everyone is the only idea by which you need to live by.
Sorry, I had to say it even though this was a long ago 😀
Lizzie V.
MommyB: I understand why you and Paige decided to change the lesson to fit your family, and I think it’s awesome that you could both appreciate it even thought it didn’t perfectly fit your belief systems. You both stated your opinions respectfully, and since I’m a Christian with an opposite viewpoint, I hope I can do the same. I’d just like to clarify “repentance” a little bit. (Sorry if this gets a little long–it can be a pretty complex topic that takes a little bit of explaining.)
In the Christian sense, the term “repentance” can be used one of two ways: 1) There is a general, one-time repentance that comes when you believe that Jesus died on the cross for your sins and gave you a home forever in heaven. And 2) There is the continual act of repentance–or rather “repenting”–which simply means acknowledging when you’ve done something wrong, asking forgiveness when necessary, and doing what you can to make it right. With that as the definition, I think you’d agree that whether you’re a Christian or not, we’ve all had to repent at one time or another.
I think the author meant repentance in both senses of the word, and not just repentance from hell.
From your statement (please correct me if I’m wrong) it seems as though the way you view repentance in a Christian sense is as a way of slaving under a vengeful God, always trying to make Him happy, and doing things the right way to keep from going to hell. If so, I can easily see why it might look that way.
We as Christians have gotten this wrong sometimes, and I’ll be the first to admit it. But if you look deeply at the God of the Bible and at who Jesus was/is, you’d see a very different, very merciful kind of God.
I do honestly believe in a heaven and a hell, and I do believe that repenting from your sins through Jesus is what will keep you from going there. But once again, it’s the very same kind of repentance any parent teaches their child: 1) Acknowledge that you’ve done wrong. 2) Ask for forgiveness. 3) Do what you can to fix it and try your best not to do it again.
The only difference is that you’re repenting to God–acknowledging that you’ve done wrong (in Christian terms, “sinned”), asking for His forgiveness through Jesus, and believing that He’s given you that forgiveness through the death of His son on the cross. And then of course 3) Do what you can to fix it, and try not to do it again.
While repentance is a continual thing in all of our lives, (who doesn’t go a week without needing to tell someone sorry?), it’s a one-time deal when it comes to Jesus. Aka, the moment you believe He is the son of God, that He died to save you from your sins and keep you from going to hell, and ask to be forgiven, you are forgiven. There is no more working to make things right with Him. You are forever in right standing with Him and God because of His sacrifice on the cross. Yes, He desires us to do good and live the right way, but His love is the kind that cannot be revoked. There’s a verse in the Bible in Romans 5:8 that says, “But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners.”
If you believe that Bible verse, it means that even when we were messing up, not believing in him, and headed for hell, He still loved us. And He showed that love in a real and practical way by sending His son to die for us so that we could be with Him in heaven. If you believe in what the Bible has to say (not me or anyone else), then hell is not so much a threat as it is a warning. John 3:16 in the Bible starts out by reminding us how much God loves us: “For God so loved the world, that he gave his one and only son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have everlasting life.” By “perish” this verse of course means hell, and “everlasting life” means an eternal heaven.
Of course the question comes up: “Why would a loving God even allow a hell?” I would never presume to say I’m smart enough to completely answer that question, but I will say this: Unless you’re religious and believe in an all-good God, most people would say they don’t believe in an ultimate good. Who hasn’t lied once in their life? Or who hasn’t hurt someone with something they said, intentionally or unintentionally?
But it’s a little harder not to believe in an ultimate evil when evil is in the news every day with gangs, random shootings, broken families, etc.
So if you believe in an ultimate evil–or in the existence of evil at all–it would make sense to believe in not only a source from which the evil comes, but also an ultimate good.
After all, how could something be called “evil” without first knowing the word “good”? And if none of us are perfectly good and have never done anything wrong, then where does this sense of “right” come from? And how can we align ourselves with that ultimate good rather than the ultimate evil?
For me, Christianity has the answer to all those questions. God is the ultimate good and the source of good. The devil is the ultimate evil and the source of evil. If we’re not on God’s side, then we’re on his–whether we know it or not–and we all let him affect us to varying degrees.
But if God is the ultimate source of good (meaning He is both merciful and just), how can He tolerate evil or wrong? We all teach intolerance to some degree. For example, murder is wrong. Pure and simple. It cannot be tolerated. There must be consequences for wrong actions–that’s justice, and it’s good.
If God is any kind of good at all, then He cannot tolerate any kind of evil. Which is why hell exists. That’s justice.
We are not all murderers, but we are not all good, either. Since God is all-good and sinless (or holy) then any kind of wrong (such as “little” things such as lying) goes against His nature. Romans again says, “We have all fallen short of the glory of God.” (Romans 3:23.) Meaning: if He’s perfectly good, we can never measure up to His standards.
If God had left it there, that would be one thing. But He didn’t. Instead, the second half of His good nature appeared: mercy.
Knowing we could never meet His standards, God sent Jesus (who was holy and sinless) to make us right with Him again. We had a debt to God we could never pay–being perfectly good and sinless, as He is. But since Jesus was sinless, He paid the debt for us, and it cost Him His life.
It was a love we didn’t deserve and could never earn. But it’s a gift, and one of the most beautiful that’s ever been given. The Bible says He died because He loved us and wanted to make a way for us to keep from going to hell. It’s a real place, just as prison is a real place. But it’s so much worse. It’s a warning that should be taken seriously. But at the same time, God’s love should be taken just as seriously.
We would not call an investigator bad for throwing a murderer into prison. We would call that justice. And then let’s say that very same murderer genuinely repented and wanted to become a good man, but he’s been given the death sentence and has no chance of it being repealed. What if then the very same investigator offered to take his place and gave him a chance at a new life? What would we call that? I think we’d call it mercy. An astonishing, amazing, and undeserved gift.
So it is with God. In justice, He rightly throws us into prison for wrongs we have done. In love and mercy, He offers us the way out through literally taking our place. Plus, it gets even better–He then wants to have a relationship with us, too! But that’s for another incredibly long comment. 😉
I hope this could be a helpful addition to the discussion, and if anyone would like to look into that more, I’d definitely recommend reading either Romans or one of the Gospels (Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John) in the Bible. Although not always, many people have some stereotypes about Christianity that they could easily see aren’t true if they’d go to the Bible first to check it.
I’d definitely recommend that for anyone who has an argument against Christianity or has questions. Go to the Bible first to see what we believe, then ask a pastor (who have made it their jobs to study the Bible) if there’s some parts you need clarification on or have more questions about. Not every Christian knows their Bible like they should, and once again, I’d be the first to admit it! Which is why it’s a good idea to read it for yourself and go to a pastor who had to go to a Bible college to become one. “The Case for Christ” is also a great book that addresses Christianity with an unbiased view.
But anyway! Twelve hours later, haha. Thanks for being open Paige and MommyB, and for starting a good discussion! (Even though I don’t think you really meant to, haha.)
-Lizzie
Teacher in Gr1
Well said!!! You are amazing at explaining what some people misunderstand. Threat of hellfire is definitely not what the author implied, I believe,rather forgiveness and love.. Though that comment can feel offensive, I feel we can forgive it as lack of knowledge (albeit your explanation has probably opened many eyes!!) and move on. But a marvelous discussion has ensued. Thank you!
Sara K Kendrick
The LIAR has done whatever he can do discredit God’s character. The lie about eternal burning hell fire is quite possibly the most damaging and has turned many away from following Christ because it just doesn’t make sense to follow or love someone because if you don’t “they’re gonna get you”.
Even CHRISTIANS need to study and understand this truth – many, many Christians perpetuate the lie from their pulpits.
The Bible is clear – and I dare say MOST Christians are getting it wrong.
http://www.helltruth.com/
http://www.helltruth.com/free-resources/free-video-library/id/1677/a-tale-about-hell
Michelle
How do you know being truthful is right?
Emily
Lisa posted what SHE did with her kids. Take it or leave it. She doesn’t need comments that make it sound like she’s in the wrong for teaching religious principles.
Aminarra
Just as Lisa posted what she does, Paige said what she herself would do. It’s two sides of the same coin.
Cpt. Obvious
Aminarra, you must have missed the second sentence and its context in relation to the first. That’s okay though, I’m still learning to read myself.
Aminarra
No worries! Reading comprehension is a hard skill to master, especially if you already think you know it all. Keep trying, buddy 🙂
nettibug60
Paige, regardless of repenting to our Heavenly Father (of which believers in Christ expect of themselves and their children), repentance is important. Your children may not repent to a Heavenly Father but they certainly should be repenting to you as his/her parent as well as to the one they wronged (when deemed appropriate). Repentance is the activity of reviewing one’s actions and feeling contrition or regret for past wrongs.[1] It generally involves a commitment to personal change and resolving to live a more responsible and humane life.Within a secular context repentance may form part of the process of psychological healing.
Behaviourmom
I think this is a great and creative way to teach an important lesson. “doing” makes the learning stick better. Better to have them eat salt on ice cream then lie to people and think it’s ok…. (IMO)
Shawna
What a great idea. I have a little boy that we have been trying to teach why he should not tell untruths. This will be a great object lesson for him and a reminder to the rest of us.
Shawna
What a great idea. I have a little boy that we have been trying to teach why he should not tell untruths. This will be a great object lesson for him and a reminder to the rest of us.
Cavi
I love this idea. My daughters are 5 and 2, though they haven’t done anything terrible I still want them to know what lying is, how it can affect them, and what our expectations are about lying in our family. I love how you made it a very creative lesson that the kids will remember. I believe that if we teach them while they are young it will be easier to enforce what we have taught when they get older. If I talk with them about it now, then when they do lie, hopefully I have will have taught them well enough that they will know they can be forgiven and that a bad choice can be made right.
Julia
This is simply an amazing teachable moment. Thank you so much!
Karon Nelson Roberts
That’s a way for anyone to understand about lies and honesty. I caught my children in lies–nothing to big or bad– wished I had thought about doing something like this. Sometimes showing while explaining is the best way to teach.
Cindi
Thank-you for sharing this : )
Mc
Loved this! Thank you for sharing! 🙂
Andrea
This is so stupid.
Natalee Puentez-Estrada
You are a loving and thoughtful mother to take the time and patience to help them understand such an important concept. I will be doing this with my daughters. I think they will benefit greatly and I know that they will LOVE having delicious ice cream with mom after the lesson. Thank you for sharing.
jean
Apple, if you actually comprehended what you read you would have noticed that she asked them first if they wanted to try it, which they all did.
Rori Donnovan
Cool.
flapperbaby.blogspot.com
lisa
Salted caramel icecream, yum.
Apple
I think it’s terrible unless the kid has actually done something wrong. Either than that I wouldn’t want my kids to hate me for giving them salt with ice cream for no reason at all.
Tara N. B.
Um, I’m pretty sure that she wouldn’t have felt the need to do it unless lying was already an issue. SO yeah.
And even if it was for “no reason at all”, they’re kids. It’s ice cream. They’ll get over it.
Sandra
?
Paige Wilson
sometimes it’s better to teach in advance so they don’t have to feel guilty the whole time. then when the need arises, you can refer back to your awesome object lesson. once they’re in trouble, it’s not really the time for ice cream.
Katie Gage
I know a boy who dipped his french fry in ketchup and then in icecream for no other reason than the fact that everyone else thought it was gross. The mom here tasted it first and reacted to it before asking the boys if they wanted to try it. She didn’t make them from what I can tell. They may have been grossed out, but most boys I know (kids, for that matter) enjoy that. And they got the point. Children will remember what they do and tie it to the lesson a lot better than they remember what YOU do. When these boys think of lying, I bet they will remember the taste of salt in their icecream more than they will remember their mom’s disgusted face.
Natalee Puentez-Estrada
Apple this was not a punishment for the children but a creative way to help them concretely make a connection to an otherwise abstract concept.
3musicmom
REALLY???
The salt is part of the object lesson! It is a teaching tool not a punishment!
They didn’t eat it with salt on it… they only tasted it! They ate good ice cream after the lesson!!
Stef
Really? Did you even read the post? Wow
Teach
Did you read that carefully? She asked the boys if they wanted to try it.
suse
Really! Your worried about your kids hating you for a little salt?! You have issues. It is called teaching real life. Don’t you want them to avoid the real salt later in life ?
Jenn
If parents were more concerned with teaching their kids right from wrong less concerned about upsetting them or having them hate you – our world would be a better place!! Give your kids more credit than that!
Les
amen
Fianou
The kids knew the icecream had salt in it. She explained the analogy and the whole point to them. They wanted to try it.
linda
I think this is a GREAT lesson to teach on honesty!!
Khouri
This ‘Apple’ person must think that everyone should treat children like they are full grown adults who don’t need to learn anything in a positively constructive manner.
You are one of those people who think the best way to discipline children by doing nothing at all because you don’t want to stifle their ‘creativity’. But all you are doing is making them pompous jerks who think the world will revolve around them while others are supposed to be at their beck and call. I hope your children don’t bite the ‘Apple’ so much that they only leave a moldy brown core behind.
I don’t even have children of my own yet, but I do feel that this was a very great lesson for them and a creative way for them to understand how lying can effect others and even themselves.
A.C.
Apple, if you consider the alternative, learning from your lies is an extremely painful process… gaining back trust from those you’ve hurt, feeling the shame of pretending to be someone you’re not, etc. Isn’t it so much more helpful (and less painful) to teach your kids a fun lesson in advance to avoid some pain? This is an extremely loving experience. No one was forced, and most kids enjoy trying something weird or gross because it’s funny!
I am a bit put-off by all the negative and hurtful responses to your post. There is nothing productive about them. Obviously you have an opinion you feel is important. I disagree with it because I don’t think you are seeing the bigger picture in this area. As far as your kids hating you for it, it seems like you are letting your fear of their disapproval of you hinder you from really teaching them as kids, which will only make things harder later in life. Kids naturally crave time and approval from their parents. A little discipline with hugs and attention included, or some preemptive learning time for future lessons as this is, will only get you much closer to your kids than letting them have only things they like all the time. I don’t think you’re saying you don’t discipline, but this is a simple thing to hopefully minimize discipline in the future, and maximize fun family time spent together.
Thanks Lisa, for a fun and helpful idea!
Elena
I 100% agree. Nothing wrong with this lesson. A bit of ice cream with salt wont hurt the kids and they wanted to try for fun, and they learned a valuable lesson. Come on, get over yourselves! Grat job!
The Chief's Wife
Apple, It’s a scenery lesson, something that they can draw on later. Like if they go to tell lie they will remember the taste of the salt with the sweet. Each piece of salt is like a little lie and as you keep adding more lies (salt) put together makes up one big lie (the saltier it gets) that can damage people’s lives, families, careers & friendships and it’s harder to cover them up.
Children we have to teach the lessons when the opportunity shows it self and do it with love. Those last the longest.
And you aren’t forcing them to eat the bowl of salt, it’s a taste or the bitter with the sweet. That’s why there are four bowls.
Christine Mattson Carlson
If you based your parenting on whether your kids will like you or not that is not good parenting, because parents are going to be hated sometimes for setting limits and boundaries.
Heather
Yes and no. Basing your parenting on being liked is a bad idea, but parents do NOT have to be hated for setting boundaries. We set boundaries with love and empathy, and care very deeply about how our children feel about us. It’s not one or the other.
Elena
I so agree with this comment. There will be many times your kids will hate you for whatever reason, but we are there to guide them with love, we are not their bodddies we are their parents.
Mandy
Seriously? If you read it, you would have seen she told them there was salt in it.
erin@chickenbabies
awesome! thanks so much for sharing. My boys need something like this.
sharon
Great job!
ally
Thank you for this! I found you through an fhe search. My daughter has a hard time not sneaking icecream and sweets so this is perfect for teaching her honesty! what a great site you have! Keep it up!
Caren
Thank you! This is perfect for some honesty issues we have in our home right now:)
Jamie Bishop
This is amazing! Found this on Pinterest! What a great idea!!!
April G
This is awesome. I am going to do this with my daughter.
Jamy Bailey
Wonderful! Did this last night and my 5 yr. old daughter really thought because the salt was ‘covered up’ that you wouldn’t be able to taste it. Wish I had thought to have the camera ready! Boy that was funny! Included a few strories from the friend and referenced an episode of Veggie Tales. Great lesson and I hope it’s remembered for years to come!
Lisa
We did this tonight. We read a few scriptures about being honest/lying….and also watched part of Aladdin to illustrate the salt that was heated to the bowl. The part where genie tells him to tell her the TRUTH! Fast forward through the song to where jasmine says oh too bad abu missed this and then aladdin proceeds to lie more to cover his lie. They loved it, esp the ice cream 😉 thanks!
Jamy Bailey
What a great idea to show that scene from Aladdin! Love it!
Peggy Lund
This is really cute! Thanks so much for sharing it. We will definitely be doing this lesson at our house for FHE.
Laree Nelson Ipson
this is brilliant. I’m going to try this on Monday night!
Guest
Fantastic. I LOVE lessons that keep them focused (I have 4 boys). Great application.
EmilyJ
found this via Sugardoodle.com’s facebook page. What a great lesson! I’ll be logging this one away for sure. thank you!
Joanne
Great object lesson! Wish I’d had this when my guys were little, they are now 22 and 19. Will definitely look for an excuse to use this activity.
Ronda C.
Great idea!